'I stopped trying to cover for her': 15-year-old calls out grandmother over concert attendance

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 11, 2024 1:00 PM EST

This teenager is not going to waste her breath trying to convince her grandmother to watch her end-of-the-year school concert. Instead, she had a quick conversation with Grandma, and then turned off her phone!

In life, you'll learn that a lot of people are flaky. Being the friend who actually shows up to events time and time again isn't easy, but it's so worth it to deepen your relationships with those around you. It's a sign that you care enough about that person to carve some time out of your busy schedule and attend their function. For this kid, all she wanted was to invite her grandmother to one of her events: an annual school concert for the choir she participates in. But this grandmother continually makes up last-minute excuses for why she can't go to the show. Instead of just telling her grandkid that she isn't a fan of live shows or that she's just plain uninterested, she's been letting her down for years. This year, the 15-year-old put her foot down in a sassy yet polite way, and at least one of her parents has her back. 

Up next, the internet was rather critical of this 22-year-old employee's tactic to get their colleagues to reply to their emails, because they "decided to start including the Chairman/CEO…on all emails." 

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  • 01
    HELE SIMFONIDAS
    via Mea Morrowheart on Unsplash+
  • 02
    AITA for Taking my Disrespectful Teen's Side?
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 03
    My dear daughter (15) is in a stand-off with my MIL. DD is a member of a select choir that only has 3 concerts per year. MIL is retired, but often makes excuses for missing important events: birthdays, holidays, etc. I used to validate these excuses
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 04
    when the kids were younger to soften the blow, but now that they're teens, I stopped trying to cover for her flakiness & apparent indifference toward them. My thought is they won't be as hurt if they know the situation & don't expect much from her.
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 05
    So, end of year concert is upon us & MIL already told DD she would come, but now, she's backing out with some excuse about needing to take care of the yard. I told MIL to tell DD herself. I overheard DD's sarcastic response & it was something along the lines of, "Oh, don't be sorry! Getting sticks out of your yard is far more important than my stupid concert! You stay right there & don't give me another thought. I won't bother asking
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 06
    you to come to my concerts at all in the future." Then DD hung up & turned off her phone. I'm actually relieved that DD is less hurt than just ped off & done.
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 07
    Now, DH & MIL want DD to apologize for being disrespectful, but I won't hear of it. I believe respect goes both ways. DD has a right to stand up for herself & if this "last straw" incident further damages the already fragile relationship between MIL & DD, so be it. An apology would be an admission of wrongdoing & I don't believe she is in the wrong.
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 08
    I might be the ahle for allowing my daughter to talk back to an adult. If I'm wrong & in fact the a_h_le, I will have my daughter apologize for the way she spoke to my MIL
    via u/NinaNina72
  • 09
    TyrannasaurusR... NTA, and good on you for raising a daughter who can call out someone's BS.
    via u/TyrannasaurusRecked
  • 10
    lihzee NTA. I'm glad you raised your daughter to stand up for herself that way. She didn't say anything insulting or directly mean. She just told her not to worry about her events anymore because she wouldn't be invited.
    via u/lihzee
  • 11
    VintageKettleof... NTA. Your MIL doesn't seem to value your kids' feelings. And if your husband is siding with her, he may need a reality check on how his mother is hurting his kids. Kudos to you for standing by your daughter when she stood up for herself and her emotional boundaries.
    via u/VintageKettleofDoom
  • 12
    Rh... NTA. If your MIL thinks what was said was disrespectful (and assuming it is anywhere close to what you posted above), she needs to sit down and think about it a bit more. Your daughter pointed a mirror at the situation and gave her grandmother exactly what she received. Ask your MIL how she'll feel if your
    via u/Rhades
  • 13
    daughter said her yard was a mess when she's laying on her death bed many years from now. Cause that's exactly where she's headed if something doesn't change.
    via u/Rhades
  • 14
    ETA: If husband does force daughter to apologize, I'd do everything I can to ensure she apologizing for any tone. that was used, and make it clear that she feels the content of her message was accurate.
    via u/Rhades
  • 15
    mikesspoiledwife NTA But they are correct. An apology is owed. MIL owes one to DD any any other LO she has overlooked. She has bailed on her so many times, and you have covered for her that she thought she was golden. Good for your daughter.
    via u/mikesspoiledwife
  • 16
    bunnypt2022 I think I love your daughter hahahaha "You go girl" and no, she is not wrong so she doesnt need to apologise
    via u/bunnypt2022
  • 17
    Ad... NTA, and congrats on raising a young woman with a strong spine and a clear eye for bs. Don't just not make her apologize. Take her out to her favorite restaurant and celebrate her strength and intelligence. She's a rock star.
    via u/AdOne8433
  • 18
    But your husband is an AH, big time. He's happy to throw his daughter under the bus for his horrible mother. I don't know what the relationship between husband and daughter is, but she now knows that she can't trust him.
    via u/AdOne8433
  • 19
    Put a picture of your daughter and MIL in front of him and ask him to choose. He's already made his choice. Rub his face in it! You and DD go NC with MIL. She's shown you that you and DD mean nothing to her. Block her and let go of any resentment. Do not give this idiot any space in your life.
    via u/AdOne8433

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family drama aita choir mother concert grandma family feud in laws family grandparents daughter Father
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